Sunday, September 17, 2006

Microsoft ZUNE

Microsoft's new portable media player, "Zune", seems like something that could be cool. Sadly, Microsoft forgot to hire me as a consultant 2 years ago when Zune brainstorming began, and now we will all have to suffer for it. Will there be problems with Zune? Is that even a real question? Below are my estimates about the major upcoming issues. I may be wrong about some things, but making predictions is what this blog is all about. NB: I am never wrong.

Things that will be lame about Zune:


1) SOFTWARE/FIRMWARE
There will be tons of standard suckiness built into the firmware. The interface will be slow and annoying. This will get better as the device is hacked, their DRM wrappers cracked and new, better, nerd-generated homebrews shows up online. It will be just like after the PSP was released. In no time nerds will be running linux on the thing.


2) COLOR SCHEME
The "double shot" color scheme is retarded. Apple got it right with minimalistic, solid color designs. The only remaining course of action for microsoft, therefore, is to get it wrong. The brown model could have been cool--had they not added a green "double shot" of color around the edge. green!?


3) BREAKABLE
The body of the zune will be all plastic. It will scratch up and crack/ding when dropped. Secondly, the LCD is big. This is cool, except that it will get hit with things-- and crack.


4) BATTERY LIFE
Are you as worried as me? Notice there has been NO mention of battery life by either microsofts "zune fact sheet" or company insiders. If the reports about Zune being wifi capable are true, I imagine the battery will be dead quicker than an iraqi civilian in Baghdad.

5) ZUNE VIRUSES?
Ok, to my knowledge there has never been a windows mobile virus. Still, the possibility exists that with an internet connection and an MS compact os, Zune will be a target. It would suck to have your $250 gadget bricked just because it was a MS product. related phenomenon: the PSP "brick".

zune image courtesy microsoft pressroom.